Saturday, February 12, 2011

Room for [hyoo-mil-i-tee]

While pondering during the many hours of my weekly drive I decided my proudest moments (okay one of many proud moments) as a parent is when Kamren shows humility. Yep, I'm proud of Kam's humility. This is what it looks like:

Example 1: Kamren shares a toy. me "Kamren you're such a good sharer" Kam "yeah, I are a good sharer" (I say sharer so you can see why my son's grammar is... well... you see)

Example 2: Kamren's cute. me "Kamren, you're so cute" Kam"I are so cute"

Example 3: Kamren helps (with lots of things). me "Kamren, thank you for being such a great helper" Kamren "I are a good helper"

Example 4: Someone (anyone, he'll respond the same) tells Kamren he's nice. Kamren "Kam are so nice"

You get it.

I've always slightly cringed when he does this because what kind of mother teaches her children to brag about how completely perfect they are?

Well, I'm not going to cringe anymore. I decided I don't want my son to be the kind of person who gets a compliment "I love your hair" (we get that one most often) and says "oh, no. you shouldn't. it's just so... red" or like me "you are looking so good. what are you doing to lose weight?" me "(snort), yeah right, I gained 5 lbs last week" Shut Up Woman! Someone is giving you a compliment, take it and be happy!

I know I'm not alone in this, and you all know you're guilty too.

When we do this, we're not being humble. This is not what humility looks or sounds like. We're disqualifying the positive, it's a thinking error (trust me, I teach 18 kids every Thursday night about thinking errors) and I'm certain anything that is discussed as a thinking error could not be labeled as humility.

I think humility is like service. You don't only receive blessings from giving service, you receive blessings from being served. Because you are allowing someone else the blessings of serving, therefore, you are still serving by not denying their blessings.

When someone says "I like what you've done with the place" and I say "oh, but we have so much more work to do" a part of me is inviting them to prove me wrong, fish for compliments, so I can bask in your continued compliments. What's wrong with saying "Thank you, I really liked how it turned out"

dictionary.com defines humility as "the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc."

MODEST opinion or estimate, not "try to prove you're the bottom of the barrel the scum lives on."

So, agree and be happy my son. I won't stop you.


Nicole said...

Totally true, well written!